NAPS

Thanks for the Memories...

2007-07-05T21:19:00.000-07:00

The time has come to close this blog - or to stop posting anyway. I want to thank everyone for all their posts of jokes, pictures, and cartoons.

For visitors, please still look around, there is a lot of funny stuff in the archives.

2007-07-01T15:14:00.000-07:00

Wanna Play?

2007-06-24T13:01:00.000-07:00

Click the pic....

It's Only a Toy, Right?

2007-06-21T11:16:00.000-07:00

Wiggle Your Hips, Honey

2007-06-17T16:20:00.000-07:00

A young woman had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her sting was so intense she decided to return to the clubhouse for help.

The golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, "Why are you back in so early? Anything wrong?"

"I was stung by a bee," she said.

"Where?" he asked.

"Between the first and second hole," she replied.

He nodded knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide."

"Darn" and "Drat" Are Not Among Them

2007-04-21T17:37:00.000-07:00

Not only that, but if you are a collector of four-letter words, you will greatly enjoy the Winnebago jerk

2007-04-05T17:01:00.000-07:00

When Hester got jealous of Marti for her new 'do...

2007-04-01T20:28:00.000-07:00

A Smart Blonde Joke

2007-02-25T10:37:00.000-08:00

Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He
immediately turns to her and makes his move.

"You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you
strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger so let's talk."

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the
guy, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," says the guy, smiling. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask
you a question first.

A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff -- grass.
Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty,
and the horse produces muffins of dried poop.

Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."

"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to
discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

Your Three Minutes Are Up

2007-02-19T14:25:00.000-08:00

She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. He walked in. She turned and said, "You've got to make love to me -- this very moment."

His eyes lit up, and he thought, "This is my lucky day."

Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and gave it his all, right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards, she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, he asked, "What was that all about?"

She explained: "The egg timer's broken."

Big Bugs?

2006-12-16T12:35:00.000-08:00

A man and a woman were driving down the road, arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reached over and sliced the man's weiner off. Angrily, she tossed it out the car window.

Driving behind the couple was a man and his 6-year-old daughter. The little girl was chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the weiner smacked their car windshield, stuck for a moment, then flew off.

Surprised, the daughter asked her father, "Daddy, what the heck was that?"

Shocked, but not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replied, "It....it was only a bug, Honey."

The daughter sat with a confused look on her face, and after a moment said .... "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?"

Jingle Smells

2006-12-15T22:13:00.000-08:00

This site is hilarious - it is rude and crude but hey, that's what I like. Go HERE to give it a listen and have some laughs.

Christmas Full Moon

2006-12-15T22:05:00.000-08:00

Oooh, Santa! (No wonder he only comes once a year!)

2006-12-15T10:11:00.000-08:00

Be sure to leave him cookies, so he doesn't have to stop for fast food!

2006-12-15T10:10:00.000-08:00

Family Dinner

2006-12-09T16:00:00.000-08:00

A family is at the dinner table.The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts.

In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions".

"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases.

In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree".

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."

We were supposed to have a Christmas goose.

2006-12-05T07:39:00.000-08:00

Grampa had other plans...

And Then I Grew Up.....

2006-11-21T18:04:00.000-08:00

Beer on Tap

2006-11-10T19:22:00.000-08:00

Snowball Fight!!!

2006-11-07T20:42:00.000-08:00

Droopy

2006-11-04T05:42:00.000-08:00

Let Grampa cook this year!

2006-10-31T19:46:00.000-08:00

Happy Halloween!

2006-10-31T19:45:00.000-08:00

Happy Halloween!

2006-10-28T06:48:00.000-07:00

Giant Wood Pecker

2006-10-19T20:14:00.000-07:00

Duct Tape - It's Good for Any Job

2006-09-07T05:59:00.000-07:00

Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart

2006-07-30T13:28:00.000-07:00

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.”

Mike replies, “Listen, you don't have to spend all that kind of money. There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars—a lot cheaper than a doctor.”

So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

“You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and Epson Salt. (Aisle 8) And avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.”

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe begins wondering if the computer can be fooled. He mixes some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. Finally, if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."

Let This Be a Lesson to You

2006-07-14T15:35:00.000-07:00

Who Let the Dogs Out?

2006-07-01T15:51:00.000-07:00

Hope I Caught You at Breakfast....

2006-06-13T13:20:00.000-07:00

Creative Condom Ads

2006-06-05T13:21:00.000-07:00

Reminds me of the old classic, Trails In The Sand, by Dangling Dick. Actually, it's an ad for extra large condoms and one of many condom ads which happen to be safe for viewing at work (SFW). Beside being funny, it's quite effective.

link

2006-06-04T10:51:00.000-07:00

2006-05-31T16:27:00.000-07:00

Mr. Johnson shares his johnson.

I never seen anything nicer.

2006-05-30T02:29:00.000-07:00

It's Prom time yet again...

2006-05-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

2006-05-19T17:14:00.000-07:00

2006-05-03T15:17:00.000-07:00

"Nice mustache, Bill."

(Heh.)

Slinkie

2006-04-29T20:01:00.000-07:00

Some people are like Slinkies...
Not really good for anything,
But they still bring a smile to your face
when you push them down a flight of stairs.

2006-04-27T08:46:00.000-07:00

Works for me...

I'll bet she's got implants, too.

2006-04-16T12:01:00.000-07:00

2006-04-15T17:02:00.000-07:00

"Well, see, I was making gingerbread cookies, and I turned my back, and first thing I knew was....."

Spring is in the air

2006-04-13T08:41:00.000-07:00

Snowman

2006-04-08T03:50:00.000-07:00

Since Hoss was on a kick, I'll keep it going...

2006-03-26T09:11:00.000-08:00

This will get me clean....No, wait...um. Maybe if I close my eyes....

2006-03-22T08:06:00.000-08:00

Look, it's a snowman. No, wait, it's....it's... not a snowman?

2006-03-11T08:51:00.000-08:00

2006-03-06T17:00:00.000-08:00

2006-03-05T19:47:00.000-08:00

My Kind of Art

2006-03-05T08:32:00.000-08:00

2006-03-04T16:15:00.000-08:00

Poppin' Rivets

2006-03-01T08:27:00.000-08:00

2006-03-01T07:56:00.000-08:00

Don't Drop the Viagra

2006-02-25T16:46:00.000-08:00

Watch This, You Bozos!

2006-02-22T15:59:00.000-08:00

At the Oscars, Oscar Wins

2006-02-21T18:19:00.000-08:00

Never a Hunter Be

2006-02-18T15:59:00.000-08:00

This guy goes out into the woods with his rifle, looking for bears. He is sort of out-of-step with nature, for a bear grabs him, throws him face down across a log and screws him bigtime.

The next week, this same guy goes into the woods, looking for bears. Again, a bear steps out from behind a tree, grabs the guy, throws him face down across a log and screws him again.

The next week, this same guy goes into the woods, looking for bears. A bear taps him on the shoulder and says, "Say, buddy, you didn't come out here for the huntin', did you?"

Huh? Speak Up, Sonny

2006-02-17T12:41:00.000-08:00

Life in the Old Folks' Home

2006-02-14T11:43:00.000-08:00

It Is Almost April 1

2006-02-11T10:50:00.000-08:00

Right Girls?

2006-02-11T05:53:00.000-08:00

Give Us A Big Wet Kiss

2006-02-10T18:00:00.000-08:00

Redneck Cup Holder

2006-02-03T15:40:00.000-08:00

Tornados

2006-02-01T15:14:00.000-08:00

Not to Worry -- When the next disaster hits, help is on the way

2006-01-31T11:14:00.000-08:00

When you need help rollin' out that TP....

2006-01-31T11:04:00.000-08:00

Junior Gives Mom an Education

2006-01-30T18:33:00.000-08:00

Junior comes home from school, walks past his parents' bedroom and sees Mom on top of Dad, doing some...uh...pumping. Mom sees Junior, and in awhile she goes to explain.

"You see, your Dad has a big tummy and I was working to flatten it some," she says.

"You're wasting your time," Junior says. "Every time you go to the store the neighbor lady comes over and pumps it up again."

One Mean Momma

2006-01-30T09:28:00.000-08:00

Fun at the Gyno Convention

2006-01-28T20:47:00.000-08:00

The Breakup Ring For That Former Special Girl

2006-01-28T17:38:00.000-08:00

Environmentalism in Action

2006-01-27T12:40:00.000-08:00

Where Blondes Come From

2006-01-23T12:57:00.000-08:00

We Old People Don't Got Good Eyes

2006-01-21T16:47:00.000-08:00

Fairy Tale

2006-01-20T05:58:00.000-08:00

"Only in America"

2006-01-16T18:24:00.000-08:00

Karen: Do Not Make Fun of Hoss

2006-01-15T16:25:00.000-08:00

Karen: I have given your email to the guy on the right. He said he used to be a fireman.

(You're welcome.)

Hoss

Ribbit

2006-01-15T12:55:00.000-08:00

These are the toads men like to kiss... for Colin and Hoss.

Colin's Been Sculpting Again

2006-01-08T10:58:00.000-08:00

Takin' out the trash

2006-01-06T20:12:00.000-08:00

Colin's Been Carving Again

2006-01-06T19:30:00.000-08:00

Let Me Know When You've Seen Everything

2006-01-01T18:13:00.000-08:00

Got Yer Taste Buds Set for a Sno-Cone?

2005-12-31T14:58:00.000-08:00

Bird Bath

2005-12-27T08:17:00.000-08:00

No Sex For A While

2005-12-27T08:13:00.000-08:00

Gay news

2005-12-24T05:38:00.000-08:00

In the wake of the legalisation of gay marriages IKEA announce a new product - the lesbian bed!

There's no screwing, just tongue and groove.

Ho ho ho

2005-12-23T10:58:00.000-08:00

Why I Love Snow!

2005-12-20T02:55:00.000-08:00

Because it's so fargin cold here now...

2005-12-15T09:25:00.001-08:00

So unloved...

2005-12-15T09:25:00.000-08:00

I Wanna See This

2005-12-13T18:53:00.000-08:00

Know What I Want For Christmas?

2005-12-11T14:44:00.000-08:00

Pr*n Version of the 12 Days of Christmas

2005-12-11T05:57:00.000-08:00

This is bad... LOL but you know me... I couldn't resist!

12 twats a twitching
11 lezzies leaping
10 rubbing testes
9 sucking nipples
8 aching assholes
7 sagging scrotum's
6 69'ers
5 pubic hairs!!!
4 moaning women
3 enemas
2 ben wa balls and
a blow job in the backseat.

Bobbitts the Name

2005-12-09T15:37:00.000-08:00

A Leading Question

2005-12-06T19:14:00.000-08:00

Funnies

2005-12-06T04:09:00.000-08:00

And You Thought the Pyramids Were Great

2005-12-03T17:57:00.000-08:00

The stockings were hung...

2005-12-02T17:05:00.000-08:00

...by the chimney with care.

Is This a Great Site, or What?

2005-11-27T04:12:00.000-08:00

I just love coming here and getting rid of all my dirty pictures.

Gotta Hate Getting Old

2005-11-26T09:29:00.000-08:00

Good Boy, Rex.

2005-11-26T09:28:00.000-08:00

Adult Sex Quiz

2005-11-26T09:26:00.000-08:00

Q.) What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A.) Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife,but you can't beat a blowjob.

Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.

Q.) What's the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.

Q.) What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"

Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.

Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q.) What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed