The time has come to close this blog - or to stop posting anyway. I want to thank everyone for all their posts of jokes, pictures, and cartoons.

For visitors, please still look around, there is a lot of funny stuff in the archives.

Click the pic....

A young woman had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her sting was so intense she decided to return to the clubhouse for help.

The golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, "Why are you back in so early? Anything wrong?"

"I was stung by a bee," she said.

"Where?" he asked.

"Between the first and second hole," she replied.

He nodded knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide."

Not only that, but if you are a collector of four-letter words, you will greatly enjoy the Winnebago jerk

Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He
immediately turns to her and makes his move.

"You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you
strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger so let's talk."

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the
guy, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," says the guy, smiling. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask
you a question first.

A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff -- grass.
Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty,
and the horse produces muffins of dried poop.

Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."

"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to
discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. He walked in. She turned and said, "You've got to make love to me -- this very moment."

His eyes lit up, and he thought, "This is my lucky day."

Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and gave it his all, right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards, she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, he asked, "What was that all about?"

She explained: "The egg timer's broken."

A man and a woman were driving down the road, arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reached over and sliced the man's weiner off. Angrily, she tossed it out the car window.

Driving behind the couple was a man and his 6-year-old daughter. The little girl was chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the weiner smacked their car windshield, stuck for a moment, then flew off.

Surprised, the daughter asked her father, "Daddy, what the heck was that?"

Shocked, but not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replied, "It....it was only a bug, Honey."

The daughter sat with a confused look on her face, and after a moment said .... "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?"

This site is hilarious - it is rude and crude but hey, that's what I like. Go HERE to give it a listen and have some laughs.

A family is at the dinner table.The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts.

In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions".

"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases.

In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree".

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."

Grampa had other plans...